Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
