You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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