when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
