Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
