Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
