Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
