ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
