Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize