I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
