Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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