I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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