I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
