Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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