i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
two words...techno handjob
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize