dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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