i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
third nipple confirmed
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
