some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
