I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
