We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
