Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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