she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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