I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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