This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
