I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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