We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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