we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
