So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
