hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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