Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
