____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
