I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we're making bets on your personal life
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
