morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
