Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
