You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
