dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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