When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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