can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
