They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
