At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize