There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
