yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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