Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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