He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
