We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize