I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize