You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
