im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
please come you make the beer taste better
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
