Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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