just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
