He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
