Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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