Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
