i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
