yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
