It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
