omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
