Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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