Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
