i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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