you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wish my penis had a tongue
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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