The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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