My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
