Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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