sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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