how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
